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Thanks for the Feedback
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"It doesn’t matter how much authority or power a feedback giver has; the receivers are in control of what they do and don’t let in, how they make sense of what they’re hearing, and whether they choose to change." - Thanks for the Feedback, page 5 Sheila Heen, Douglas Stone and Bruce Patton’s Difficult Conversations remains one of the most important books on my book shelf—one that I go back to time and time again—and one that I recommend widely. Now, Heen and Stone’s new book, Thanks for the Feedback, published a full fifteen years after their first, is going to join and perhaps supersede the place of their first book on my shelf. Both practical and profound, the authors argue that as humans we want to both learn and improve AND be loved and accepted for who we now are. Feedback, regardless of how it’s given, can threaten the notion that we are okay the way we are—and thus receiving it can be challenging and can trigger us in a variety of ways. Yet, in order to grow, we need feedback. While most of what you read and learn about feedback focuses on feedback giver, this book puts the burden of feedback on the receiver. The authors contend that by becoming skillful receivers and requesters of feedback, we can fully own our learning and growth. Feedback is no longer something that is “pushed” at us, but something that we “pull” towards us. And, as we become skillful at the art of receiving feedback, we develop the capacity to learn from anyone and anything. We can transform feedback, even when it is poorly delivered, and leverage it for our growth and development.
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